BTS Suga‘s labelmate, songwriter, and producer EL CAPITXN (also known as Jang Yi Jeong and formerly J.Pearl) guested as the guest on Episode 27 of Suchwita.
[#오늘의방탄] #슈취타 EP.27 with #장이정
시즌1의 마무리도 찐친과 함께! 슈취타를 찾아와주신 게스트분들, 많이 사랑해주신 아미 여러분들 정말 감사합니다! #오늘의슈가 #SUGA #슈가 #ELCAPITXN #프로유튜버민윤기 #민윤기사랑한다 #주인장슈가 #슈취타시즌1영업종료 #시즌2기다려기다려 pic.twitter.com/atZp9PyW3I— BTS_official (@bts_bighit) February 26, 2024
The two remembered how their respective groups, BTS and HISTORY, debuted in the same year, 2013. However, that was over a decade ago, and EL CAPITXN struggled to continue his singing career.
You could’ve continued your career as a singer, but then… how should I put this… You stopped at a certain point.
— Suga
EL CAPITXN recalled when he first began struggling with his singing career. He felt he had no control over his voice.
EL CAPITXN: I’m not sure where to begin, but… This is the first time I’m talking about it in public… But at some point… when I had to sing on stage, I wasn’t able to sing very well.
Suga: I know the feeling. Your throat feels fuzzy.
EL CAPITXN: I’d be singing songs that I always sang but I couldn’t control my voice I was like, “This is so strange.” I kept feeling like I’d sing off-key if I sang.
It got so bad that it was no longer his singing impacted but even speaking. Sometimes, the words wouldn’t come out.
Back then, I simply thought I wasn’t in my best form and kept brushing it off but the more time went by… the more uncomfortable it got to the point it affected me even when I was just talking. The first time I realized that was when I was at the agency and the CEO was walking by at the end of the hallway I wanted to say, “Hello” but the words didn’t come out I was so shocked…
— EL CAPITXN
Suga asked, “Was there a particular reason why that happened? Like a traumatic incident on stage?” Unfortunately, EL CAPITXN never found a cause or treatment for the symptoms.
Well… None of the hospitals I went to ever found the cause. So, there’s no solution for it yet. But there’s no issue with my voice it seems more neurological.
— EL CAPITXN
Suga wondered, “How did you ever work in that condition?” EL CAPITXN explained that due to this, he can’t even look back at clips of his singing.
That’s why… I can’t bring myself to look up clips of myself singing live as a singer I was so bad… Because I was always trembling in fear whenever I sang live. So, whenever I see that, it brings all those memories back, so I just can’t watch it.
— EL CAPITXN
It was in 2016 that Suga and EL CAPITXN’s friendship began to form. This was the same year EL CAPITXN started to think he couldn’t be a singer anymore. So, EL CAPITXN talked about HISTORY’s struggles before their disbandment.
Suga: We met in Cheongdam. We had ordered tofu kimchi somewhere in Cheongdam I remember talking.
EL CAPITXN: You have a good memory.
Suga: I have a good memory.
EL CAPITXN: Yeah, I had totally forgotten about that.
Suga remembered bonding with EL CAPITXN over songwriting. He promised to share EL CAPITXN’s demo with BigHit Entertainment (now BIGHIT MUSIC), but EL CAPITXN moved to another agency, hoping to continue a singing career.
Suga: And you… You told me what was going on with your team, and I remember you playing a song for me.
EL CAPITXN: Right, right.
Suga: Since I was writing songs too then I was like, “Oh, he’s a songwriter too.” I said I’d give your demo tape to the agency and told you to touch it up a bit then got it from you. But the strange thing is he went to a different agency…
EL CAPITXN: I’m sorry
Suga: Don’t be. Back then, you still really wanted to continue as a singer too.
EL CAPITXN: Yeah, that’s how I was back then… After giving it a lot of thought I chose to go to a different agency.
Suga was understanding of EL CAPITXN’s choice. He, too, wanted EL CAPITXN to be a singer, so much so that he was willing to personally help him in any way possible, including paying hospital bills. Suga had offered to assist with the costs so EL CAPITXN could get treated and resume his singing career.
I say this every time I see you, but I still wish that you would sing too. Back then, I said this too. I was driving and said, “If you want to be a singer, fix your voice first. You have to get that taken care of to do what you want to do I’ll pay for the hospital fees… No matter how much it costs, I’ll support you. You can pay me back slowly when you can. If you want to be a singer, that agency is the right choice but get your voice fixed first.” That’s what I said I think that was the end of 2016.
— Suga
EL CAPITXN recalled Suga’s offer and encouraging words that night. Suga had brought it up while driving, and EL CAPITXN would never forget that moment as no one else had been able to talk so openly about his struggles with him.
I remember exactly how I felt in your car that day. I’ve never told you this before we may be friends now, but back then, the way I saw it, and the way I felt was that you were just a business friend. And no wonder because… I had asked for your help, and that’s how we met It felt like we were friends out of necessity. But… No one could bring up the problems I had first like you did. No one, not even my family, could talk to me easily about the fact that I wasn’t able to sing anymore, but you brought it up while you were driving. You said, “I love it when you sing and I wish that your voice would return to the way it was soon, I’ll pay for all the expenses… So don’t worry about that and get treated first.”
— EL CAPITXN
EL CAPITXN confessed to Suga that he had teared up during the drive because he was so touched by his kind gesture. Suga hadn’t noticed at the time. He was just an empathetic musician who wanted to help his friend.
EL CAPITXN: Yeah, I kind of teared up a little bit while looking out the window. You didn’t know that, right?
Suga: I was just driving.
EL CAPITXN: You didn’t know, right?
Suga: Since I was driving…
EL CAPITXN: I was so touched by that. You were the first person to just bring it up and talk about it. You were the first and I felt so grateful.
Suga: That’s just how I felt… Since I started music at a young age too. The only time a musician quits music is when no one listens to their music anymore, but that wasn’t the case for you. You became a singer because you really wanted to sing, and if you weren’t able to sing, I believed helping you get back to it was the right thing to do…
While Suga couldn’t help EL CAPITXN continue a singing career, he did help in the future when EL CAPITXN gave him another demo. Suga ultimately helped him debut as a songwriter, and the two have continued to work with each other and be good friends.
So, then you came back to our agency, “Yoongi, you gotta help me out,” and you gave me another demo. You had wanted to release an album but that didn’t work out, but you weren’t able to do anything as a songwriter yet either, so, I figured I should help you debut as a songwriter.
— Suga
Watch the full episode below to hear more about their story.